Tell Me – Who are you truly honest with?

Something I’ve been struggling with a lot lately is honesty

No – I’m not lying to my friends or to my partner

The person I’ve been lying to is myself

In full transparency, I think we can all attest that we lie to ourselves in one form or another every day of our lives.

Be it the white lies we tell ourselves that we enjoy slugging down green juice, or deeper-seated truths that we’re in an unhealthy relationship that is going nowhere but down.

These are the lies that eat us up inside – degrade our self-worth before we even notice the parasite of lies that has devoured our insides – leaving us lost and confused, subject to the poor guidance of society.

Leaving us ill equipped to recognize our struggles, address them, and action upon them.

These lies do us no good.

Sure – they protect us from reality, that life is and can very well be shitty at times

But they also prevent us from feeling – I can’t tell you how many times I’ve found myself feeling nothing at all

Bleak, I know, but it’s the truth. After a while I wonder, why is it that I feel nothing in this moment. Then I realize, I’ve forced myself to shove down any discomfort or problems I’ve had in my life: to avoid conflict and confusion, to simply avoid it all.

In this lies the problem – we have trained ourselves to evade anything and everything that’s painful – so that we feel absolutely nothing at all

That nothingness you feel in life – it’s you evading pain, evading discomfort – ultimately evading learning.

I’ve learned, the lesson isn’t in the moment, it’s after

It’s looking back on how we overcame and battled our traumas and stressors head on.

How we didn’t let fear, greed, or complacency prevent us from true happiness

I’ve found when we’re really toeing the line – between chaos and success – that’s when we learn.  

We learn who we really are in the face of adversity, conflict, and struggle. We find the fighter within us. To battle, overcome and learn from the past to live a better present.

When we fight for the present to the very best of our abilities – our futures are guaranteed to be great.

When we lie, lead our mind and body astray. Tell ourselves this relationship, that friend, and this society are okay – we further strengthen the toxicity of these ties. We validate them.

Day in and day out – we are validating the things in our life that cause us the most pain and suffering. We let our mind and society know it’s okay to beat us up and leave us helpless.

How many times have you found yourself escaping reality through The Great British Baking Show or Too Hot to Handle? How many times have you told yourself it’s okay to do nothing – to feel nothing?

We’ve all been there. Ending an episode or 6 of our most recent binge feeling empty and alone. We just consumed so much and yet how is it that we’re left curled in a ball on our couch, under a fuzzy blanket, and an empty bag of Brookside chocolates feeing utterly and completely alone…

We tell ourselves this lie everyday – “I’m just tired, I should go to bed now.”

You’re not just tired – you’re dissatisfied.

Dissatisfied with the current state of your life. With your physique, your income, your job, your hair, your home, your passions, your partner, and ultimately your present reality.

You want and know there is more out there for you. A more fulfilling and promising life. Yet you tell yourself you’re not worthy, it’s too soon, I’m too old, I’m too young, I’m too poor – the list goes on. It’s time to break free of the cages that confine you.

To escape this society fulfilled to the brim with lies and conditioning of an empty and bleak existence. Constantly aspiring to be more yet doing nothing about it. Constantly looking to others for guidance, ignoring the compass within you.

All you need to find happiness and success is to look within. To determine what you need. Not your partner, not your friend, not your parents. Just YOU.

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We were all told from a young age not to lie to others – when did it become okay to lie to ourselves?

I can attest at the very least that I’m done lying. I’m done pretending. I’m done being complacent. Most importantly, I done being scared of what might happen if I take a risk.

The worst that can happen is failure, and failure isn’t a punishment for taking risks – it’s a lesson. It’s a guidebook of what works and what doesn’t. Edison didn’t invent the lightbulb in a day. He noticed a problem, a lack of light and worked endlessly to find a solution. Our lives are just the same – sure we have many problems, but there are also many solutions. You need to find the solution for you.

That solution will only work perfectly for you. As there is only one you.

Our lives are ever evolving and we will never be done learning. Everyday we learn something new. Let’s start taking note of the little things. The things that make our lives better. The solutions to our everyday problems.

Let’s be the generation that’s open and honest with ourselves. Let’s be the generation that fails. Let’s stop being afraid of what could happen and start getting excited about what will. The first step is to try. As long as you’re trying and open to failure you will find success.

Openly and honestly, we will fail. We will learn. And we will succeed.

That’s my promise.